You know what I said in A New Journey…

Well, it has happened.  I have given J until the end of May to find a job and leave my home.

Saturday morning, about 8:00am, he came into my room to lay in bed with my son and I.  We were just about to get up anyway, so I did not make a fuss.  We left the room and him.  I made my coffee and prepared breakfast for my son.  Finally, I got to go to the bathroom.  As I was heading down the hall, I heard him talking…in English.  The people he mainly speaks to he speaks to in Spanish.  I knew something was up and I knew then that I could not trust him.  I tried to listen at the door, but I heard him say “Just a minute” which was my queue to step away, he must have heard me.

I have become more patient since all of this mess began three years ago.  I didn’t rush in and confront him.  I let it lie.  I would wait for my moment.  M had a soccer game Saturday morning and we would be soon getting ready to go to that.  But I wasn’t sure I should wait too long, the evidence might be erased.

After I got out of the shower, I got J up and told him he needed to shower quick, as we were running behind.  Apparently my mind was elsewhere and I lost track of time.  After he got in the shower, I found my chance to look at his phone.

Since it is locked, I figured it might take me a while…but it didn’t.  My third try I had his code entered and the phone unlocked.  I looked at his call log.  There was a “415” number and someone named Nosila.  Ah, clever.  Nosila…Alison spelled backwards.  I did not care about the calls.  I decided to take a look at his messages…that is where the content lies.  And boy, did I find me some content.

There were numerous messages between them.  Professing their love for one another.  “miss my ally”.  Ugh.  My head began to burn with anger.  I scrolled up a little further to see two pictures of her tits.  Yep.  Her tits.  I can appreciate a nice rack as much as the next girl, but this chic.  Nasty.  Her boobs sagged to her stomach and she had, what I like to call “bologna nipples”.  You know the ones…the boobs with quite large aureola that cover most of the breast itself.  I wanted to vomit.  I wanted to kick him in the gnads!  But alas.  I plainly stated to him that he needed to get out of my house.

And then I told him what a disgusting human being he was and the like.  You know, stuff.  The kind of stuff that was true…

He is sober now, but that has not fixed his lying.  He still lies.  Lies pretty bad too.  I told him that I can not trust him.  Ever.  He apologized.  Begged to stay.  Then found some way to blame me for him doing what he did.

The weekend is over and he is still apologizing.  Still finding reasons why it is my fault.  One of the best ones thus far…it’s my fault because “I am here and you just treat me like your maid…doing your dishes, cooking, cleaning.”

Yep.  ‘Cause he has a shitload of other things to do.  But alas, I didn’t ask him to do any of that.  He wanted some projects, so I asked him if he wanted to organize the storage closet and take down the Christmas lights.  I told him he didn’t have to, but if he wanted something to do…it was there for him to do.

He did that and he has been cleaning.  He even kept asking me if he could do my laundry…I kept saying no.  I am particular about my laundry.  Well, he did it anyways and needless to say, all my white shirts are now blue and/or grey since they were washed with the dark clothes.  Oh well.  Nothing a little beach won’t fix.  I let him know Friday that I appreciated everything he has been doing…and just wanted to let him know that.  I used to feel I did not appreciate him enough…so I thought I would make sure he knew…

Through all of his apologies, he kept bringing M into it.  When I would tell him to leave…he would ask M…”do you want daddy to leave?”  That is pretty low.  I had to take my son aside and have a long talk with him.  It’s difficult with a five year old.  What do you tell him that is going to make sense?  M was beginning to stand up for his dad even though he saw me sobbing.  Well, whatever I said…it worked.  I finally got J to stop talking about the issues in front of him…and I have it set up so that if he does, M knows to run to my room and shut the door.  He knows that mommy’s and daddy’s problems are between them.  He knows not to take sides and he knows that we love him no matter what. I explained to him that mommy needed to stop hurting so she can take care of herself and take care of him.  So mommy needs to eliminate the source of the pain and hurting.  That mommy and daddy do not get along…and we still love him.  But we are better being apart.  It helped.  He stopped accusing me of punishing his daddy and he stopped taking his dads side.  He is silent on the issues and he runs away if J begins talking about our problems in front of him.

And…ugly tits.  That is how he repays me.  Betrays me.  His excuses.  His lies.  Why!?  To what end!?  Well, he got his end.

The end.

Oh, and by the way…I think I just found a new nickname for his trampy girl that likes to date married men.  Ugly tits!




About smommy

I am a single mom, by choice. I decided to separate from my husband and an unhappy marriage over three years ago. My son was two at the time. I am pretty much raising my kid on my own with occasional support of my family when I need it. (I don't like to admit I need it, ever!) My soon to be ex-husband (STBX) is an alcoholic and after we separated and he moved back to San Francisco, he became a drug addict also. Life is a struggle, but a sweet one since I have this awesome boy and we love each other sooooo much! Now, if I could magically be divorced, that would be great...but alas, I cannot force him to sign the documents. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but there are moments when it seems so far away and unreachable.
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2 Responses to Betrayed…Again!

  1. Christine says:


    I drop by and read all your posts. I think your J is not very sincere.
    Better ask him to sign on the divorce papers and get him out so that your pains won’t be manifested

    So how is your life and M?

    • smommy says:

      No, you are correct. J is not a very sincere person. Life goes on and it will continue to go on. I am trying to update my blog…but have been out of time lately and I’m tired when I do have time. I must do it soon though, as I feel a flood coming on…lots to write about. 🙂 Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it. Take care.

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