Ball-less Need Not Apply

Last Thursday night, I found myself communicating via Facebook with a man that I had gone to school with but never really knew.  He did not know me either.  We had sent small, inconsequential messages back and forth a couple of times, but nothing serious or deep.

Did I mention this guy is HOT!  I mean, HOT.  Not only that, he is really funny and loves his kids (he is divorced).  I will not tell a lie, I had a Facebook crush on him.  I kept thinking how he was the perfect guy and he’s the kind I need in my life.  If I fall in love again, I want it to be with someone like him.

So, during our little chat session he comes right out and says, “I have really strong feelings for you, I hope you know that.”

Yikes.  Wait, What?  Before I had a chance to respond, he sent another message, “Hell, I might even be in love with you even though we can never be together.”


So, here is this awesome guy that I have had a Facebook crush on telling me all this.  Mind you, some bells went off in my head, but really, I enjoyed the conversation and admitted to him that I liked him a lot as well.  He told me that he wanted to come visit me and I told him that we should talk on the phone first, at least.  So we ended the conversation by exchanging phone numbers and promises of calls after the weekend.

The weekend came and went.  We messaged a little bit on Sunday night and again on Monday.  But Monday is when it got awkward.  I asked him when he was going to call me.  No response.  My messenger told me had seen it shortly after I sent it.

Two hours later, still no response.

Finally, his response came after three hours.  “I don’t know if I want to.  I mean, it’s not like we will ever be able to get together and my kids are here in Iowa living with their mother.”

I'm Crushed!

I’m Crushed!

Ugh!  Seriously.  I guess this guy is not who I thought he was and realized quickly that he was born without balls.  How do ball-less men leave the womb?  Why do men think with their head and not their heart?  Anyways, I just told him that I was sorry he felt that way and left it.  Yeah, I left it for about an hour until my emotions got the best of me.  I then sent him a lengthy explanation as to how I follow my heart and take chances, even if those chances are risky and may possibly end up hurting me…blah, blah, blah.  And I say “blah” because this is obviously what he heard in his head while reading my response.

His response was “Ahhhhh.”

What the FUCK!?

So, although I do not understand why this man would pour his guts out to me then ignore me and toss away something that may have been quite fantastic….I am not going to give up on being a dreamer or finding love.  I will, however, give up on him.  I am too old to mess around with ball-less men and I do not like relationships that begin as roller coasters, which I lovingly call puke rides.

Oddly, the very next morning at 7:23am, he sends me two pictures of himself.  Nice pictures.  Beautiful pictures.

Yeah, I do not get it either.  My response was… “If you are trying to keep me interested…it’s working.”  A few moment’s later, I asked why he wanted to keep me interested if there is no chance that we will ever speak on the telephone or meet in person.  No response.

I was hoping for one, but the lack of response gave me my answer.  He merely wanted me to admire him and let him know how gorgeous he was in order to boost his self esteem.  He wanted me to make him feel good…while giving nothing in return.  I do not work that way.

But anyhow, I have learned a lesson, I want a man with balls.  I mean, real meaty, stick to your bones, balls.  So, ball-less need not apply.  Turn around and leave me be because I am too fabulous!



If he did change his mind and wanted to continue with a relationship given the distance…I would totally dive in.  I’m pissed, but not dead.


About smommy

I am a single mom, by choice. I decided to separate from my husband and an unhappy marriage over three years ago. My son was two at the time. I am pretty much raising my kid on my own with occasional support of my family when I need it. (I don't like to admit I need it, ever!) My soon to be ex-husband (STBX) is an alcoholic and after we separated and he moved back to San Francisco, he became a drug addict also. Life is a struggle, but a sweet one since I have this awesome boy and we love each other sooooo much! Now, if I could magically be divorced, that would be great...but alas, I cannot force him to sign the documents. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but there are moments when it seems so far away and unreachable.
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