Where There is Drama, There Can Be Happiness

I am happy to say, there is still drama as it relates to the STBX.  I wish like hell there weren’t just because that means some discomfort to my boy.  But alas, I cannot protect him from all disappointment, even that his own father throw’s at him.

A few weeks ago, J lost his job, again.  He got caught doing something, and although I am unclear as to what it was, I’m pretty sure it had something to do with alcohol.  this comes just after getting him solidly set to pay the baby-sitter every week, which he had done for the last two weeks prior.  Yay him.  Yeah, no.  Not really.  I have paid her for the last three weeks and I have no money left.

The next bit of drama…oh happy day… Well, a couple of weeks ago, J calls me at work.  When someone calls me at work, it better be an emergency or very urgent because my boss does not look kindly on those that take personal calls and it’s just too busy for me to field calls, personal and business.  I mean, I am swamped at work.  I could work twelve hours and still not be done with everything.  But anyways, I get this call.  “Kristi, I have to tell you something and I know you probably don’t care, but thought you should know.”

“Okay, what is it?”

“Well, Alison’s dad died.”

With anger making my face red and hot, “As I feel bad that Alison has lost her father, you are right, I do not care.  Why are you calling me to talk to me about your whore of a girlfriend?”

I could not stick around for that conversation so I hung up.  He called back and I let it go to voice mail.  He texted.  I texted back.  “WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME AT WORK TO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR WHORE?!”

Needless to say, I do believe he helped her the entire week and not one call to his son for more than a week.  When he finally did call, he blamed me.

“Well, I thought that you would hang up on me if I called since you were so angry.”

“Bullshit!”

“Well you have done that before.”

“Yes, I have.  When you begin a conversation that I get angry about or if your son is trying to talk to you and you are not paying attention and talking to someone else instead.  That’s when I hang up the phone.  Don’t blame me for you not calling your kid.  Do you think he didn’t notice?”

So, on and on, he continued to blame me.  To which I say “What the Fuck Ever!”  I could tell my son noticed his father hadn’t called.  He was acting different, acting up and being a pain in my rear, which is unusual.  It broke my heart.

At the end of the day though, I was happy.  I am happy I have my child with me.  I am happy I do my best to give him what he needs…love, attention, playtime, etc.  I get him and he gets me.  I may not be the best mommy in the world, but he thinks I am.  And that….that’s the best happy ever!  I don’t care if I am broke, I mean, it would be nice to have a bit of money…but what I got is better than that.
I got this kid.  And this Halloween, he wants to be Luigi and who am I to say he can’t.  I borrowed the money so he could be just that…Luigi…the creepy little green guy in the Mario Brothers.

Lil Luigi

 

 

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About smommy

I am a single mom, by choice. I decided to separate from my husband and an unhappy marriage over three years ago. My son was two at the time. I am pretty much raising my kid on my own with occasional support of my family when I need it. (I don't like to admit I need it, ever!) My soon to be ex-husband (STBX) is an alcoholic and after we separated and he moved back to San Francisco, he became a drug addict also. Life is a struggle, but a sweet one since I have this awesome boy and we love each other sooooo much! Now, if I could magically be divorced, that would be great...but alas, I cannot force him to sign the documents. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but there are moments when it seems so far away and unreachable.
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6 Responses to Where There is Drama, There Can Be Happiness

  1. This made me laugh…also, your kiddo makes an awesome Luigi!

  2. lily says:

    Your son is adorable! Enjoy Halloween with him and hang in there, keep being a great mom. Stay happy, happiness is contagious (how to have a happy kid : ) ~ Lily

    • smommy says:

      Hey there Lily! Not sure how I missed this…phooey. Thank you for the compliment. He is the sweetest, most loving kid I know and I plan to keep it that way… I try to lead him by example. He tells me he loves me about a hundred times a day and I love hearing it every single time. But we are happy and plan to stay that way. Although I don’t get on here much, just know I read almost all of your posts when they are delivered to my email! You are such a wonderful writer and love seeing your soul shine through those words! Hope all is well with you Miss Lily! 🙂 Kristi

      • lily says:

        It made me a little teary to read this. Thank you, and I am so glad to hear that you are staying optimistic and doing the best for your son. In my life, no matter what a mess and dilemma it sometimes seems, I know I did my very best for my children; there is a lot of satisfaction that comes with that and it helps towards trying to be gentle with one’s self : ) I think we are similar in that way, or at least I try to be strong and good and loving, as you are. Thank you so much for reading and for writing. Hugs, happiness, and strength always~ Lily

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