Disappointment is the New Norm…

So, I have finally gotten moved.  I am loving my new place and I like the new city I live and work in.  It has so much more to offer us.  There is more in the way of entertainment and fun things that I get to take the kid too.

For instance, this weekend is the Indian Celebration.  We went last year, but get this, I don’t have to travel 30 miles to get there.  It is just down the road.  This town also has a children’s museum that I cannot wait to take the kid to.  He will love it.

That’s not to say we haven’t had some challenges.  It has been two weeks since the move.  The first week, I thought I found the perfect person to watch my son.  She was willing to drop him at school and pick him up.  I had my doubts, but wanted to see how the first week went and do a trial run.  Man, did I ever make the wrong choice.

The first day I dropped him off, she was in her pajamas.  She was getting her own children ready for school and I tended to mine, sat him at their kitchen table and set his breakfast down in front of him.  Then I left.  I left him alone.  She was not paying attention to him, she was busy with her own.  It pained me to leave, but I did.  And I understand she has her own to look after for a bit until she gets them off to school.  Well, when I picked him up, she told me that he hadn’t peed all day.  So, I took him back to her bathroom to go.  He pushed me and didn’t really want to.  I saw why he didn’t want to go.  The bathroom and hallway leading there were kept dark.  All. The. Time.  She never had a light on or a curtain open.  It was dark all the time.  I asked if she could keep a light on in there so he wouldn’t be afraid…  She agreed, begrudgingly.  When we got back to the living room, a man had dropped by and was sitting at the kitchen table.  I asked her if it was normal for her to have men in and out.  She said, well it’s my mother’s day off and she has him over right now.  “Is that going to be a problem?”  Me: “Well, yes.  I did a background check on you but not on them.”  You see, a man had dropped by while I was interviewing her also.  He came in like he owned the place.  She had promptly shuffled him back out the door, but i didn’t think anything of it until I saw a different man that first day.

Well, that was just the beginning.  I think after that, she was just looking to get my son out of her care.  On Friday, I put her check in my son’s backpack with the agreed upon amount.  I received a text informing me she could not accept the amount and she didn’t take checks.  WOW!  Red flag!  But that’s what we agreed to.  I told her I would pay her the mileage as soon as she provided me with a mileage report.  She also told me she had cared for my son for 43.5 hours…which was a lie.  It was only 28.5.  Then she told me that she would have to charge me $40 more a week than what we had agreed to.  Then she told me she traveled 50 miles taking my son to school and back.  OMG!  Can this woman lie anymore?  I told her I didn’t have that much money and could not afford to pay her what she asked.  I told her I would drop in for the car seat later in the day and bring her money.  So, I wrapped another check in a $20 bill this time.  She didn’t even notice.

Anyway, I also decided to post a review of her and her services on the site I use.  Needless to say, she was not pleased and texted me so.  Said I posted lies, she did.  Well, I didn’t.  She said she was gonna report me, she did.  Well, I said…do what you gotta do.  And I says also, I will do what I gotta do, so if I report you to the IRS, then that is what I gotta do.  I do believe that shut her ass up.  She didn’t report me, she didn’t write a review.

Thankfully, my mom came to the rescue and watched my kid for this week.  Another upside, my kid loves his new school!  LOVES IT!  So it is quite disappointing to think I might have to pull him out so I can just find someone to watch him full time.  It would likely cost less than the two, school and a caregiver.  Plus, I cannot seem to find someone that wants to take on this gig.  I really can’t pay the going rate…so, I’m screwed.  Maybe.  I have an interview with a woman tonight then two on Friday.  My final interview is the one I am most hopeful about.  It would be nice to find someone and to not have to disappoint my child.

Who knew this childcare search would be so damn difficult and stressful?  I didn’t.  I mean, now I do.  What is even more stressful…and disappointing… My STBX keeps spending all the money in his account and leaving my son’s school check to bounce like a little bouncy ball.  When I asked him about it last night, he was shocked.  Yep, he can’t keep track of his account…he doesn’t even try.  He thinks the balance the ATM gives him is his real balance.  So, he went out and spent a bunch of money on his girlfriend again.  Go figure.  Girlfriend…kid…girlfriend…kid…he chooses the girlfriend every time.  It is terribly disappointing.  I wish I didn’t have to rely on him for money.

It all really comes down to this.  I need to find me a nice rich man that wants to pay for everything for me, not have sex with me and will leave us alone.  Does that dream man exist…or am I just heading for more disappointment? 😉


About smommy

I am a single mom, by choice. I decided to separate from my husband and an unhappy marriage over three years ago. My son was two at the time. I am pretty much raising my kid on my own with occasional support of my family when I need it. (I don't like to admit I need it, ever!) My soon to be ex-husband (STBX) is an alcoholic and after we separated and he moved back to San Francisco, he became a drug addict also. Life is a struggle, but a sweet one since I have this awesome boy and we love each other sooooo much! Now, if I could magically be divorced, that would be great...but alas, I cannot force him to sign the documents. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but there are moments when it seems so far away and unreachable.
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3 Responses to Disappointment is the New Norm…

  1. When you find that nice, rich man, could you ask him if he has a brother? Or a cousin? Please? 🙂

  2. cobyjean says:

    Oy. I remember the costs of/unsettling people involved with day care as being one of my biggest challenges, as a single mom of youngsters. About made you want to give up. BTW, I found that man you think you’re looking for — if he does have a brother, I wouldn’t sic him on anyone. Whole new set of problems that lands you right back in the boat, babe. Just from a different angle. You and Baby Boy can do it. And will become what someone else hopes to find, to add to their life.

    • smommy says:

      Dang, I can’t believe I have not had time to participate in this, my favorite of past times. I miss reading your comments and hearing your wisdom. And boy, I really don’t want a man in my life…I am happy, content and ready for adventures with my son…watching him grow from a toddler to a little boy… He is in preschool now and loves it so… The only thing that could break me now is if his dad doesn’t get it in gear and give me money to help pay for that school. If I have to pull him out, it would break hearts, I tell ya. Well, I do hope all is well in your world…this crazy, busy world full of hope and drama! 🙂

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