It’s about time.

I have one more day with my son before I hit the new job.  I am elated to begin working so soon after I was laid off.  I have only been off for a month and a much needed vacation with my son.  I have treated every day as precious time with my child and wanted to make every day special.  We took a couple of trips to the local lake that have a great beach and playground.  We had numerous movie, popcorn and m&m’s evenings.  He squeals when I announce we are having one of those evenings.  I even let him have some soda.

I am going to miss these days so much.  When I begin to think about it, I begin to tear up.  I hate leaving this kid.  I hope I am so busy at my first day of work that I will forget how much I miss being home with him.  There are just so many things I love about this kid.  He’s a unique soul and I hope he always remains that way.  I hope he always keeps that loving nature about him.  He sure loves his family.  (Well, except for the dogs, they are like siblings, I tell ya.)   And, my kid is three and he is constantly testing his boundaries with me and, not gonna lie, it’s driving me a bit nuts.

But, as much as I love him, I cannot wait to begin a new job and a new life.  I informed my landlords that I am looking at moving out in mid-August or September.  I am trying to give them enough time to sell their house or find someone else to rent it short term.  Honestly, I wouldn’t do that if my landlord wasn’t my brother’s best friend.  I would just jet and find my new place and begin my new life.  I don’t feel like screwing my brothers friend and besides, this guy has helped me a bit since I have been here.  He helped empty my moving truck when I got here and he helped move us into his house.  His new wife begged us to move in there since they had no one else.  I didn’t want to due to the whole mix of business and pleasure never working.  I don’t like taking money or goods from friends or family.  It causes some shitty things on occasion.  I try like hell not to make waves, but I gots to take care of myself and my kid.

Soon things will be changing.  I am nervous about beginning this job and sad about leaving my child, but it is about time.  It is time to begin again!

Oh, and it’s been an entire month of no smoking.  Some days are more difficult than others (mostly around the time that Aunt Flow and Uncle Tom come around).  But I’m doing it.  I’m changing my life!


About smommy

I am a single mom, by choice. I decided to separate from my husband and an unhappy marriage over three years ago. My son was two at the time. I am pretty much raising my kid on my own with occasional support of my family when I need it. (I don't like to admit I need it, ever!) My soon to be ex-husband (STBX) is an alcoholic and after we separated and he moved back to San Francisco, he became a drug addict also. Life is a struggle, but a sweet one since I have this awesome boy and we love each other sooooo much! Now, if I could magically be divorced, that would be great...but alas, I cannot force him to sign the documents. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but there are moments when it seems so far away and unreachable.
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3 Responses to It’s about time.

  1. You seem to be doing wonderfully. It’s a great day the day we choose to begin our new life, recreate ourselves. That’s definitely what I’ve been trying to do as well.

    • smommy says:

      It sure has been a long journey, but not without defect, still. I have weak moments where there is still hope, even though there is none. For our marriage at least. But there is definitely hope for a new beginning. Good luck to you on your journey. Thank you for reading.

  2. lily says:

    How is the new job? How is the no-smoking? Thinking of you, ~ Lily

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