An Unwelcome Surprise

What a week, already, and it’s only half over.  It all began with a phone call from J on Monday night.  He seemed distressed and told me that he wanted to fly to Atlanta to spend some time with his son and try to patch things up with us.  He also informed me that he wanted to stay.  Stay with his family in Georgia.

About two hours later, he phoned again.  He was still distressed, but this time he was drunk.  Among the first words he blurted out was that he had been molested by his uncle and cousins when his parents left him and his sister in Mexico.  Apparently, he had been raped repeatedly over the time the five or so years.  I felt sad for him.  Honestly, this was no surprise.  I figured something like that had happened to him, I was just waiting for him to tell me.

Immediately after that confession, he began yelling at me and telling me I never cared and how unfeeling I was.  I just let him yell.  After he calmed down, he told me that his flight would arrive in Atlanta at 10:30 the next morning.  He had made a rash decision to come back here and I wondered how long this whim would last.

My son and I waited as planes emptied.  As soon as I saw him, I had M run up to him… This picture was priceless. “Daddy, daddy, daddy…”  The rest of the crowd waiting “Aw-ed” in unison.  When he finally saw me, he came over to hug me.  I was actually happy to see him.  My eyes welled a bit.  I took a deep breath and all I could smell was alcohol….and not the rubbing kind.

He was tired and wanted something to eat so we stopped at a Mexican restaurant on our way out of Atlanta.  While there, he ordered two shots of tequila and a beer.  Go figure.  I tried hard to keep my mouth shut so as not to react.  But he knew how I felt.  I didn’t need to say anything.  We left and he and our son slept all the way home.

When we arrived at my house is when it all began.  I knew it would… He wanted to call his mom and asked to use my phone since his didn’t work (although it seemed to be working just fine).  I asked what her number was so he pulled out his phone.  He showed me the number, but instead showed me a text from his girlfriend.  Yes folks!  He is still with his girlfriend and still trying to get back in my house…all at the same time.  But are you really surprised?  I’m not.  I grabbed the phone and locked myself in the bathroom.  I read all of the texts they exchanged.  ALL of them.  They are so in love!  Yep!  His lies are just ridiculous.  When I confronted him, he just told me that he broke up with her before he left.  I told him I didn’t believe a word he said.  So, I texted her.  I texted her and let her know that he was still trying to come back and still messing with both of us.  I am sure this doesn’t phase her.  She believes his lies.  I never had and never will.  But either way, I told him to prove it to me.  I said if it’s really true, he won’t mind calling her on speaker and having that conversation.  He didn’t want to, but he did.

The phone rang and rang.  She finally picked up and all he could say was…”I’m going to stay here, I think.” She responded, “Oh, you are going to stay there.  Fine, I have a meeting to go to.”

All is fair in love and war…but wait a minute.  I don’t love him and at that very moment, going through the drama, I realized that.  I don’t want this man in our lives.  We are happy and we don’t have any upsets disrupting our happiness and it has felt so good.  I  really don’t need or want this in my life and I don’t want my son to be exposed to it.

J has been trying to kiss me all night, get me into bed and even has been “sick” all night.  Against my better judgment, I let him come and sleep in my bed at 5:00am.  I figured it might bring him some comfort.  There was no cuddling or affection because I wouldn’t let it happen.  Even after his shower, he smelled of the tequila he just downed and I couldn’t stomach the odor.  And even now, talking to him, I can smell it.  It makes me physically ill.  I hate it.  I hate him for coming here and disturbing our peaceful, simple, happy life.

He is an unwelcome surprise, in every way.  It’s time to get back to happy!


PS… And the quitting smoking thing is going well.  I have “slipped” a couple of times, but seriously better than 20-30 smokes a day!



About smommy

I am a single mom, by choice. I decided to separate from my husband and an unhappy marriage over three years ago. My son was two at the time. I am pretty much raising my kid on my own with occasional support of my family when I need it. (I don't like to admit I need it, ever!) My soon to be ex-husband (STBX) is an alcoholic and after we separated and he moved back to San Francisco, he became a drug addict also. Life is a struggle, but a sweet one since I have this awesome boy and we love each other sooooo much! Now, if I could magically be divorced, that would be great...but alas, I cannot force him to sign the documents. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but there are moments when it seems so far away and unreachable.
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1 Response to An Unwelcome Surprise

  1. evatenter says:

    Keep being strong and just get back to happy!!! I support you in spirit! 🙂 Much love to you and your son!

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