Quit It!

I received my prescription of Chantix in the mail yesterday.  I took my first pill today.  On this plan, you can smoke for the first week or so while on the medication.  After enrolling on their website to assist me in the quitting process, they told me my quit date would be May 29.  I hope to hell this works because I really, really want to quit.

In the past I have tried the patch, gum, and even hypnosis to quit and obviously nothing has worked.  I feel like Chantix is my last hope for a clean life.  And when I say clean, I mean, I don’t want to frickin’ smell like smoke any more and I want to “clean” up my life.  Getting rid of the smokes is one step to the life I envision for my future.  I am already feeling optimistic and hopeful that this will work.  I have an internal calmness that I did not have before and it’s only one pill so far.  I think a part of that plan is somewhat psychological.  Like a placebo.  The pill doesn’t actually have to be working for me to think it is.  But we will see.  This will be a tough journey.

I need to spew out the reasons I am quitting.  This will serve as a reminder as to why I am quitting.  When I become anxious or forgetful, I will come back here and be reminded why I am doing this.  Some of them might be redundant, but please bear with me…

  • I want to be alive to see my son: graduate high school and college, get married, have children, and hit any milestone that stirs pride within me,
  • I don’t want to smell like smoke any more,
  • This will increase my chances of finding/having a healthy relationship in the future…after all, who wants to date a smoker…,
  • I don’t want a hole in my throat,
  • I don’t want lung cancer,
  • I don’t want my son to be repelled by my smoke breath,
  • I want to be healthy and live a healthier lifestyle,
  • I don’t want to be banned from restaurants or from Disneyland,
  • I don’t want to die young,
  • I want more time to become what I have always wanted to become….whatever that is…,
  • I want my hair to smell like the shampoo and conditioner I use instead of smoke,
  • I don’t want my son to pick up butts off of the ground, asking what they are anymore,
  • I don’t want my son to pick up the same awful habit,
  • I don’t want my smoking to effect my son’s health

This is a pretty good list for now.  I am sure I will be adding to it down the road, but for now…this is a great start.  Looking to a beautiful future and can’t wait to start over.  Does anyone want to quit with me?  Whatever your vice…who’s with me???!

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About smommy

I am a single mom, by choice. I decided to separate from my husband and an unhappy marriage over three years ago. My son was two at the time. I am pretty much raising my kid on my own with occasional support of my family when I need it. (I don't like to admit I need it, ever!) My soon to be ex-husband (STBX) is an alcoholic and after we separated and he moved back to San Francisco, he became a drug addict also. Life is a struggle, but a sweet one since I have this awesome boy and we love each other sooooo much! Now, if I could magically be divorced, that would be great...but alas, I cannot force him to sign the documents. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but there are moments when it seems so far away and unreachable.
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2 Responses to Quit It!

  1. SM2K says:

    Just a heads up, from my experience. For the first week I felt great, how I think I will be when cigarettes are out of my life for good. The second week I got a major case of the crankies. I was short and moody. But heading into week three I’m feeling good again. Best of luck! I really hope it works for you 🙂 (and me too!)

    • smommy says:

      I was a little cranky that first week…much like I feel when I am pmsing. Unlike it though, I could talk myself out of it and get over it. I am hoping that I can do the same this week if it gets worse… Today should be my first smoke free day…we will see how this goes. Thanks for the support and heads up.

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