Hopes, Dreams and Other

Am I living in a dream world?  Is it crazy to hope for a future with my family in one piece?  Is it pitiful and pathetic to want my marriage to stay intact after all of the crap I’ve endured?

I wish I had the answers to these questions.  My husband was pretty much drunk all weekend and again Monday night.  He called ranting and raving and I calmly dealt with it.

He told me how much he loved me and M and wanted us to move back to California.  I told him no.  M is happy here.  He has a good happy life, full of hopes and dreams.  M told me he dreamed of the stars last night.  I’m not going to take away the stars.  Stars are not visible in California, unless you live in rural areas.

So, I gave J an ultimatum.  Oh yes I did!

Stop drinking and go to AA!  That is the only way you will win us back.

He said he would quit drinking.  He didn’t respond to my request for him to attend AA meetings.  I girl can dream, can’t she?

So we will see.  It will take some time for him to convince me he is sober and will stay that way.  Even if this marriage doesn’t work out, at least M will have a sober father.

About smommy

I am a single mom, by choice. I decided to separate from my husband and an unhappy marriage over three years ago. My son was two at the time. I am pretty much raising my kid on my own with occasional support of my family when I need it. (I don't like to admit I need it, ever!) My soon to be ex-husband (STBX) is an alcoholic and after we separated and he moved back to San Francisco, he became a drug addict also. Life is a struggle, but a sweet one since I have this awesome boy and we love each other sooooo much! Now, if I could magically be divorced, that would be great...but alas, I cannot force him to sign the documents. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but there are moments when it seems so far away and unreachable.
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