Thursday Night

I was pretty exhausted given the stress swimming around in my world and decided to go to bed early.  J called as usual to talk to our son, a little later than normal and was thinking that he might take the night off.  Take a break from the drama.

I had been causing drama the last couple of evenings.  My jealousy was getting the best of me.  I brought up the subject of his girlfriend often and he was getting frustrated.  I do believe, I was not the only one causing him frustration.  I am sure that my email exchange with his girlfriend also caused him some stress.

A week prior, the evening of my initial email to the girl, J sounded terribly depressed.  I kept asking him what was wrong but he did not answer.  I knew what was wrong.  His girlfriend confronted him with my email.  The girl should not leave her facebook on public settings.  Silly girl.  She checked into places and I could tell she was with my husband.  I was matching her check-in’s with my husbands bank account.  I am a sleuth I tell ya.  But my snooping hurt me.  I just wanted a straight answer from J. 

I could always tell when my husband was lying.  Usually I was looking him in the eye when he did so.  These days, I could not determine through the phone.  I hated that he spent money on this girl.  I hated it.  He should have given us money without me having to ask.  Since he had money to spend on her, I decided to make a small transfer of funds from his account to mine.  I know it sounds shady, but all I take is fifty dollars.  That money goes towards our son’s expenses; it’s not an excessive amount….so I do not feel bad.  Not an ounce. 

When J called Thursday, I could tell I had driven a wedge between him and his girlfriend.  He stayed on the phone with us for over an hour.  We laid in bed, played with the kid and enjoyed a bit of small talk.  It was like we were all in the room, just enjoying each others company and enjoying our kid. 

I was too tired to bring up the subject of his girlfriend.  I think we both have had enough.



About smommy

I am a single mom, by choice. I decided to separate from my husband and an unhappy marriage over three years ago. My son was two at the time. I am pretty much raising my kid on my own with occasional support of my family when I need it. (I don't like to admit I need it, ever!) My soon to be ex-husband (STBX) is an alcoholic and after we separated and he moved back to San Francisco, he became a drug addict also. Life is a struggle, but a sweet one since I have this awesome boy and we love each other sooooo much! Now, if I could magically be divorced, that would be great...but alas, I cannot force him to sign the documents. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but there are moments when it seems so far away and unreachable.
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