I am a new single mom with a toddler at home. He is the BEST thing that has ever happened to me. I’m not one of those people that always wanted to get married and have kids. Never thought that was in the cards for me or my life. I was always focused on school and career. But approaching my thirties, that all changed. That stupid and mythical biological clock started ticking like a time bomb inside of my already crud filled head. I went to college in San Francisco and studied sculpture and art history. I just wanted a degree. I didn’t care what it was in…I figured I could make more money by just having one.
Well, that is true. My income did grow exponentially, but I was still stuck in an office doing the same old thing. Admin-ing! Ugh! I hate even admitting that fact. I try not to acknowledge it. And even more so now as I quickly approach my forties. Crap! Did I just say that out loud, I’m gonna be forty soon. Since I’m new here, I bet no one will hear it. But I hate where my life and career have taken me and understand fully that I have control over my destiny and yet I sit here at a computer, all day, every day doing some executives bidding and get paid a meager wage. I really do want a career in some creative industry doing something creative. But it looks as thought that may never happen.
Since the recession and my son was born, money has been tight. And when I say tight, I mean like camel-toe in white jeans TIGHT! My Ex contributes a little money to the child-rearing fund, but I feel bad that I still make more money than he does. Is it right to take money from this guy!? I don’t know. But when I need it, I ask for it and he hands it over. For the most part, no questions asked. But that’s mostly because I tell him up front that it’s for diapers or we need to eat or something necessary like that.
So, here I am. Trying desperately to find an outlet for both my creativity and my life’s frustrations and to also share my little joys. As, even though my life has taken a harsh, ugly turn, that kid is my JOY! He is the one thing in life that I am so very proud of doing. Hell, I probably had fun doing it.